there are people I follow and there are people I follow

you know what I mean?

As I was walking home in the dark I thought I saw something lurking in the shadows following me.

IT WAS A FREAKING CHIHUAHUA

after i finish high school i want to move to the uk in order to pursue my dream of becoming a stalker

Talking to an actress on a film set

  • Actress: When I was younger I had to walk through a creepy park and just in case someone wanted to rape me, I carried a condom with me so I could give it to them, lay down and just say: "Take me, but be quick."
  • Everyone else: *laughing*
  • Actress: And sometimes, when passing a bunch of weird men, I'd just twitch from time to time so they wouldn't bother me.
  • Everyone else: *stomach muscles hurting*
  • Actress: And I also had this plan that when someone started chasing me, I'd start skipping and yelling: "Catch me! Catch me!"
  • Everyone else: *death caused by lack of oxygen*

See a drop dead gorgeous guy on the bus

My brain:

And then he got off before me:

When you’re on the bus and the creepy guy won’t stop staring at you.

Outside:

Inside: